


As you walk away

by RedScxr



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Broken Tendou, Helpless Wakatoshi, M/M, Psychological torture to Tendou, Threats of harm towards Tendou, UshiTen angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-29
Updated: 2021-01-29
Packaged: 2021-03-15 17:20:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,276
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29067927
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RedScxr/pseuds/RedScxr
Summary: "Why wasn't I him?" - Satori Tendou
Relationships: Tendou Satori & Ushijima Wakatoshi
Comments: 1
Kudos: 9





	As you walk away

Tendou loved everything about Ushijima.

How much passion he put into volleyball, his soft smile, the way he was so serious . . .

All of it. Tendou loved all of it.

He couldn't help but wonder what it would be like to be Ushijima's. What it would be like to date him and do everything couples did.

Hold hands, hug, kiss.

Tendou was like a pre-teen with a crush, and Semi had informed him many times.

But he couldn't help it. Just thinking about his best friend was enough to drive him insane.

Tendou knew he was skilled when it came to the game of guessing. But there were many things he hadn't guessed.

For example, he didn't expect Ushijima to hold the same feelings for Tendou, though Ushijima never confessed to it.

He only treated Tendou like a king and acted as if no one else was as important, as if everyone else were specks of dust blown away by the wind, Tendou the only one who would stay by his side while the wind blew.

One day, Tendou and Ushijima were walking to practice together when they saw a boy looking around, lost.

"What's wrong?" Tendou asked, running up to them happily.

"I don't know where I am-" The boy began and when he saw Tendou, he raised an eyebrow. "Oh. Satori Tendou."

Tendou blinked. "That's me."

"You must know him from the volleyball roster," Ushijima noted, impressed. "Are you interested in volleyball?"

"I guess," the boy responded. "It's fun, but I only do it as a hobby."

"What position do you play?"

"I'm a Middle Blocker-"

"You play the same position as Satori."

The boy and Ushijima continued talking, while Tendou stood on the sidelines, watching.

He noticed how Ushijima spoke, and a question entered his mind.

_ Why doesn't he look that happy talking to me _ ?

"Wakatoshi!" Tendou called. "We're going to be late!"

"I apologize, Satori," Ushijima said, cutting his conversation with the stranger short, much to Tendou's pleasure. "I never caught your name-"

"Saru," the boy responded. "Saru Monsutā."

"Nice to meet you, Saru."

Ushijima and Saru shook hands before Tendou and Ushijima walked towards the gym, the latter failing to notice how the former's face had contorted into a deep scowl.

All throughout practice, Tendou couldn't focus.

The motivation that he had a few hours ago was gone.

"Are you okay, Tendou?" Semi asked as they sat on the bench, stretching their legs. "You've been kind of out of it today."

"I'm fine," Tendou responded quickly, replacing his scowl with a smile. "Don't worry about me!"

Semi frowned. "If you say so. Get back to playing like you usually do before Coach yells at you."

"Okay, SemiSemi!"

Tendou laughed at the glare he received from Semi at the nickname.

But Tendou couldn't get back into the rhythm of the game. Not after what had happened earlier that day.

"I expect you to be better by tomorrow," the coach lectured, having noticed Tendou's weak plays.

Tendou nodded and bowed down before leaving.

"Wakatoshi-" Tendou began when he saw his best friend waiting for him outside the gym.

He stopped just before he stepped outside.

Saru was talking with Wakatoshi.

"You're one of the Top 3 aces in the nation!" Saru praised, laughing. "That's amazing!"

"Thank you," Ushijima returned, smiling at the compliment.

Tendou swallowed and stepped back, deciding to wait for Ushijima to leave first.

He pulled out his phone.

**_Tendou:_ ** _ Go without me Wakatoshi, there's something I have to do. _

Tendou watched as Ushijima waited a few seconds after the message was delivered to actually take out his phone and read it, Saru distracting him.

But Wakatoshi saw the message because he left, Saru walking by his side.

_ I'm just imagining it _ , Tendou scolded himself as he walked out of the school.  _ I'm just being dramatic. _

But no amount of words could block the feeling that had begun digging a pit in his stomach.

~|~|~

It went on for the next few weeks.

It was like Tendou and Ushijima had gone from best friends to nothing more than acquaintances.

They barely talked, and when they did, it was always because Saru wasn't there, and it always seemed as if Ushijima was hiding something.

Their conversations weren't as carefree as they used to be either. They were always guarded, as if they didn't trust each other.

As if they weren't best friends.

"I'm glad you're doing well, Satori," Ushijima said after one particularly short conversation. "I have to go now, it was nice speaking with you."

"Yeah, it was, Wakatoshi-kun." Tendou couldn't hide the wavering of his voice as he turned to walk away, having been talking outside of the boys' bathroom.

And while Tendou and Ushijima's friendship was breaking, Saru was  _ thriving _ .

He had top scores, he was popular, he was handsome, and he had snatched the "best friend" role from Tendou.

But he was so nice. Everyone in the school  _ loved _ Saru, he just naturally attracted love from the public.

Unlike Tendou.

"When was the last time you slept?"

After 4 weeks of that issue, Semi noticed the dark circles under Tendou's eyes, Tendou's face significantly gaunter.

Tendou snapped awake at the sound of Semi's voice.

"I slept last night, don't worry so much, SemiSemi!" He responded, waving his friend off.

"Sure." Semi stared at Tendou. "And this has nothing to do with the fact that Ushijima isn't around as much anymore?"

"Nope! And I'm sure Wakatoshi-kun is just busy, he'd be with us if he could!"

That was a lie.

Ushijima had all the time in the world to be with his friends, to be with Satori, but he spent that time with his new best friend.

Semi didn't dig into it too much and went back to his class.

Another week passed, and Ushijima went to Tendou's classroom unexpectedly. 

"Satori."

Tendou looked up to see Ushijima looking down at him as Tendou sat on his desk, head down.

"Wakatoshi-kun!" Tendou forced a smile onto his face and closed his eyes, happy to see his once-best-friend. "Why are you here? You have class soon too, you know-"

"Saru and I are together."

Tendou couldn't breathe. It was as if someone was strangling him, preventing oxygen from flowing into his lungs.

"Th-That's good!" Tendou choked out, opening his eyes to find his vision blurry. He pretended to dig through his bag beneath his desk to blink the tears away. "For how long?"

"I confessed 2 days ago," Ushijima explained.

He stayed quiet for a few seconds, and Tendou stopped rummaging through his bag for nothing, waiting for Ushijima to say something else. 

"I'm sorry."

Ushijima left the classroom, leaving Tendou more confused than ever.

Why was he leaving? He had just dropped a bomb like that and expected Tendou to deal with it?

The rest of the day, Tendou had another question in his head.

_ Is this what my hell looks like _ ?

It was as if Ushijima and Saru were purposely following Tendou, walking in the opposite direction towards Tendou, holding hands and Saru occasionally pressing kisses to Ushijima's cheeks.

"Hello, Tendou!" Saru greeted once, waving happily.

Tendou waved back, trying so hard to smile, so hard, but he couldn't.

At least on the court, he could forget about everything.

Tendou practiced harder than he ever had before, determined to forget about all the pain he felt.

Semi noticed, as did the rest of the team. Yet no one said anything, with the exception of Semi.

"What are you so motivated about?" He asked as they stretched, the smell of sweat and salonpas filling the gym, the squeak of shoes as people ran to clean up.

"Oh nothing, I just felt good!" Tendou chirped, ignoring the pang in his chest.

"How do you do it?" Semi sighed as he tried to reach his toes.

On the way to the front gate of Shiratorizawa, Tendou kicked at the dirt and saw the dust fly, hoping his feelings would go with them.

Tendou stared at the dust as it slowly left into the atmosphere, when he saw something beneath a large tree.

His heart started pounding in his ears as he dropped the phone he held in his hand, not caring that the phone cracked.

Ushijima and Saru were kissing beneath the tree.

Tendou ran. He ran as far as his legs would take him, he ran until he felt like his legs were about to fall off, he ran until he couldn't breathe.

Leaning against a brick wall, the first tear fell. Then another. And another followed.

Sobs wracked Tendou's frail body as he slid down the wall into a crouch, sobbing and letting all the tears he had held back fall.

It was Ushijima that convinced Tendou that he was good enough. That his talent wasn't "freakish", that it was a blessing. It was Ushijima that made Tendou feel  _ loved _ .

So why did Saru have to come along and ruin it?

Tendou hated it. He hated the fact that Saru was so perfect that he couldn't hate the boy. He was so nice and so caring, how could he possibly blame them both?

Saru was a much better match for Ushijima than Tendou would ever be, even platonically.

Where Satori once dreaded the days for his third year to end because he wouldn't see Ushijima as much, he now loved to see them come.

He wouldn't have to see his first love be with someone else anymore. He could forget about his feelings and forget about them both altogether.

All through exams, those were the only thoughts that kept him going.

Graduation day came and went.

After a few teary goodbyes to and from their volleyball team (Tendou preferred Goshiki's, however), the third years left the gym and didn't look back.

From that point forward, they would not be setting foot into that gym. They would not be playing for Shiratorizawa anymore.

~|~|~

He should've known that it wouldn't last.

The time he spent away from Ushijima wouldn't last.

They kept in contact. Tendou wished he could delete Ushijima's number forever and be done with it, but he could never do it.

He wished he did the day he met up with Wakatoshi for the first time.

"You're doing well!" 

Tendou noticed every aspect of the person sitting across from him, and he noticed that he looked better than ever.

"You seem to be doing well as well, Satori," Ushijima returned, opening his menu.

Paris, France.

The city of love.

The city of ruins, for one person in particular.

They ate, they laughed, they drank a little, and they talked. As if nothing ever happened, as if they were always best friends.

"Tobio Kageyama is a formidable setter," Ushijima said, swallowing water. "Hoshiumi is a good player as well."

"As expected from the Adlers!" Tendou laughed.

"Yes."

Tendou wanted to keep laughing. He wanted to freeze that moment and live in it forever.

But nothing ever lasts.

"Satori." Ushijima appeared to be uncomfortable, and he started fidgeting with his hands.

Only then did Tendou see it.

The ring.

"Saru and I are getting married," Ushijima finished, as Tendou stared at the ring.

Why was he always too late?

"That's so cool, Wakatoshi!" Tendou lifted up a cloth to clean his mouth to hide the fact that he couldn't fake a smile anymore. "Congratulations!"

"Thank you." Ushijima cleared his throat. "I came to formally invite you to the wedding." He presented a letter from inside his suit and Tendou took it, still covering his mouth. "I was hoping you would be my best man."

Tendou tried not to choke.

How long had it been since he felt like he couldn't breathe?

Not long, considering it happened every single goddamn time he saw a picture of them on social media.

He wanted to decline. He wanted to say no, that he didn't deserve this, he didn't deserve  _ any _ of it.

He wanted to scream, to say that he was with Wakatoshi longer, that it wasn't fair that the most important thing in his life was being taken from him.

He wanted to say how much he loved Ushijima. Why just the mere thought of him made him feel like he was drowning.

Where once he felt like he was drowning in love and affection for Wakatoshi, with a warm sensation over his chest, he now felt like he was drowning in a void of nothing.

It made him sick.

Were all his bullies right?  _ Was _ Tendou a monster? Did Wakatoshi lie to him? Was Tendou just an unlovable freak?

Tendou inhaled shakily. "Yes, of course I'll be your best man!"

He cried himself to sleep that night, knowing that he would have a front row seat to see his best friend, the love of his life get taken from him.

~|~|~

Tendou applauded along with the crowd as Ushijima and Saru were deemed husband and husband, happily married and bound together by their overwhelming love for each other that was killing Satori.

He wanted to leave badly, as soon as the reception was over, but instead, the grooms had pulled him aside.

"Thank you for coming, Satori," Ushijima thanked him, and both their eyes filled with tears, Ushijima's tears from happiness, Tendou assumed. Wakatoshi would never understand, and he would never know. "This means a lot to me."

"Why would I miss it?" Tendou choked out.

Ushijima smiled. "Would you like anything to drink?"

"No no, I'm fine," Tendou denied quickly. "I was just about to leave anyway-"

"You can't leave yet!" Saru said. "You're going to miss the festivities!"

"Yeah, I got caught up with work today, I have to go or I'll be behind and the boss will  _ not _ be happy."

Lies.

"Oh." Saru turned to Ushijima. "Do you mind leaving us alone? I want to talk with Tendou. I won't be long!"

Ushijima nodded and left, and when they were left alone, Saru turned to Tendou.

"I told you," Saru grinned, "monsters don't belong with humans."

Tendou's eyes widened. "W-What?"

"I never liked you, Tendou," Saru continued. "And I thought that it had gotten into your head that you aren't human, and you never  _ will be _ . But I guess you just had to go and ruin that, didn't you?"

"Do you even love Wakatoshi?" Tendou spat.

"Of course not! I'm just using him to let you know that no matter what you do, you will  _ always _ lose."

"So that's it? You're ruining my life, my happiness just because of what  _ you _ think?"

"It's not what  _ I  _ think, Satori, it's what everyone thinks! You're just too blind and deafened by 'love' to see it."

"Why'd you bring Wakatoshi into this? I thought you changed-"

"Because Wakatoshi was at the palm of my hand to begin with." Saru laughed and turned to leave. "How naive of you, Tendou. Did you really think anyone would love you?"

Tears streamed down Tendou's face. "Wakatoshi will find out-"

"And do what? He thinks of you as a monster, he's told me." Saru threw one last sickening grin at the person who was breaking down in front of him. "Go be useless somewhere else. This is your own fault for refusing to live with the fact that you're just a stupid mistake, a waste of a life. Now leave, monster."

Saru walked away as Tendou stood frozen, tears still falling.

"Satori?"

Tendou flinched at the voice and turned away, hugging his arms close to him.

"What seems to be the problem?" Ushijima asked, appearing in Tendou's line of vision. "Are you unwell-?"

"Why did you lie to me?"

Ushijima's eyes widened. "What do you mean?"

"Why'd you say I was normal?" Tendou cried, louder than intended.

"Because you are-"

"No I'm not! I'm a freak, I'm a monster, and just because  _ you _ think otherwise doesn't change anyone else's opinion!"

"What is going on with you, Satori?"

"What's going on is that you ruined my life!"

Tendou turned on his heel to leave, but Ushijima grabbed his arm and stopped him.

"How?" Ushijima demanded. "How am I ruining your life?"

"I fell in love with you the second I saw you," Tendou spat. "Because you made me feel loved. And then you go and brag about your new husband, and you ask me to be the  _ best man _ at your stupid  _ wedding _ ! Do you know how much that's killing me?! Do you know how much it hurts to see someone take what I want?! The only one that ever made me feel loved?!"

Tendou shoved Wakatoshi away. 

"Don't contact me again, Ushijima. Stay away from me. I never want to see you again."

Ushijima watched as Tendou left, and he couldn't stop him.

Rage flooded through him.

~|~|~

The night of the day he and Saru first met, they walked towards the front of the school together, Ushijima pointing out every single good aspect of his best friend and love interest.

"You really like Tendou, huh?" Saru noticed.

"Yes, I do," Ushijima responded blatantly.

"Huh. Never thought I would see the day someone would actually like  _ him _ ."

Ushijima stopped and stared at Saru who stopped next to him.

"What do you mean by that?" Ushijima's tone was cold. He would not let  _ anyone _ get away with insulting Tendou, not when Tendou was the most perfect thing in the world.

"I've known Tendou since childhood," Saru sighed. "And you could say I 'bullied him', but I say I taught him a lesson."

" _ How dare you hurt Satori _ -"

"He should know not to be anywhere  _ near _ me." Saru turned to look up at Ushijima, the former grinning. "So here's what I think. Either you destroy him, or I hurt him."

Ushijima froze. "What?"

"My offer is simple. You will help me shatter Tendou's pathetic little spirit into pieces so small that they can't be fixed."

"What has Tendou ever done to you?"

"He thinks so highly of himself he thinks he's  _ normal _ . And what pisses me off is when people don't know their place." Saru started humming. "You will leave Tendou behind and get closer with me."

"I cannot do that-"

"So you want me to hurt Tendou?"

Saru grinned as Ushijima scowled. "Good boy. From now on, you are  _ mine _ . You will cut Tendou from your life, and if I catch you showing him the slightest bit of interest, I will destroy Tendou."

Saru walked away and Ushijima froze.

No. No.  _ No _ .

From that point forward, Ushijima tried so hard to warn Tendou, to tell him why Ushijima was acting differently.

The day he went to inform Tendou of his new "boyfriend" was the day that Wakatoshi would confess  _ his _ feelings to Tendou. It was the only way he could think of to protect him.

He didn't worry about Tendou not returning his feelings, not because he thought Tendou returned them, but because he wrote every single speck of information into a letter.

A letter he planned to deliver because Ushijima knew he was bugged, kept under close watch by Saru.

But Tendou didn't seem the slightest bit interested, and Ushijima knew he was taking too much time.

It was too late.

"I'm sorry," he whispered tearfully before leaving.

~|~|~

Everything was forced.

The relationship, the marriage, everything.

Saru had planned it all.

"I hate you," Ushijima snarled, turning to Saru who stood beside him, watching as Tendou left his life, forever. " _ I hate you. _ "

Saru only laughed. "Get in line."

"Why are you doing this?!" Ushijima yelled.

  
"Isn't it obvious?" Saru turned to Ushijima, a wicked grin occupying his face. "It's _fun_."

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to a few Discord friends for giving me the motivation to do this and for helping me with some parts.  
> I absolutely love Tendou and I mean no harm to any of the characters in writing this.  
> I do not own any of the characters. This was purely made for entertainment.


End file.
